A Eulogy for you Richard...❤
30/10/2013 13:26
It has been a while since I have written in my blog, but this article is even more personal to me, I also know and understand that I am not the only one to have lost a friend who is dear to ones heart...
To-night my friend I dedicate it to you, my spouse is sharing it with me as well. I drink to your peace and solace... G-D knows the last time I drank was with you at that memorable Hollow'een party that was thrown in 2011... I will love you always and when G-D permits it I will have one more with you when we meet again...Respect to the man who always would put those he loved before himself no matter what the cost could be....
It has been a while since I have written in my blog, but this article is even more personal to me, I also know and understand that I am not the only one to have lost a friend who is dear to ones heart...
I hope that in a long-stretch it could help someone who would be contemplating suicide by seeing how it truly affects those who remain and love the one who chose to leave... I am not trying to be pretentious with this, but I remembered someone once told me a story:
"My boyfriend was waving at people in other cars and on the street the whole time we were driving. At some point I asked him: "Do you know ALL these people?" He answered: "No, but I read somewhere that if only a stranger had acknowledged another (who was suicidal) the other would have felt worthy and re-question the idea of ending their lives. That there was 1 out of 10 chances it would work, well I would like to be that chance today!""
So in a way I was hoping that this article I wrote could be that 1 out of 10 chance...
“I dare to dream the feel of your touch, falling into your loving embrace once more. What a pleasure it would be to feel its comforting closeness. How I long for it; how I crave the happiness it would bring in this moment of despair. To be expected to embrace sorrow as it presents itself, showing it no mercy… To see the remaining strength one had fall into nothingness. Knowingly that when the heavens will have granted the moment, the sorrow will have dissipated and the sweet memories will alleviate ones heart. It is to be said that: Peace can be found through even sorrow, but the tears that veil it must be dried....”
Me and Richard November 2010
Richard and I often referred to each other as brother and sister; you see we were both without siblings so we completed each other that way... We became instant friend 21 years ago, he was always there and so was I, we didn't need to speak often to know it. He was my first real friend, we had crazy times, whether we were partying or driving around. We travel together as well... He was the witness on my son’s birth certificate and also, no one ever knew that, he was my boy’s legal guardian in the outcome something ever happened to me and Jeremy’s father. I could tell so many anecdotes on the experiences we had, but I won’t I want to keep them to myself for now... Yes I want to be selfish for a little while. I can only tell you how much I am hurting right now; I haven’t slept last night... Breathing seems to be the most difficult thing of all... I have been crying all night... I still am.
Richard had to be the kindest person I had the chance to meet. Never thought of himself, always the wellbeing of others first. But yesterday he, for the very first time, thought of putting himself first. I just wish he could have answered my calls these last few weeks first.
As you all know I am alone in the world now. I had to be in Montréal for over 2 years (2010-2012) and he’s was the one who took me in when I had nowhere to go, and I will always be grateful for what this man has done for me, but anyway...
May you find solace Richard. May peace and joy overwhelm you and may euphoria becomes you... I love you as I would a brother...
I do not have a flagpole therefore I can't hang my Canadian flag at half mast, so I hung it with a black fabric covering the back. I will hang it every day until the funeral is over and I will light a green candle (his favourite colour) every evening as an homage and in remembrance of my brother from another mother.. G-D speed Richard it was one hell of a ride my friend and I regret nothing...
To-night my friend I dedicate it to you, my spouse is sharing it with me as well. I drink to your peace and solace... G-D knows the last time I drank was with you at that memorable Hollow'een party that was thrown in 2011... I will love you always and when G-D permits it I will have one more with you when we meet again...Respect to the man who always would put those he loved before himself no matter what the cost could be....
The last bottle of Rum you brought me from Cuba, you and your green candle.. Rest in peace my friend and if I could be granted only one wish from G-D is that it would be: “Please watch over my friend and keep him close to you so that he never knows loneliness again.”
